A Tragedy in Three Parts

Part One: Kix, Tweezers, Surprise!

Thursday was a crazy day. Summer session of preschool ended on Tuesday, and the Z-Monster has been going a little stir crazy. All day he picked on his sisters and looked for trouble.

Finally, Thursday afternoon I got the girls happily entertained by a bowl of Kix cereal, and was playing with the Z-Monster, trying to work off some of his excess energy. I periodically glanced at the girls to make sure they weren't throwing Kix on the floor, choking, or fighting. None of the above (well maybe a little Kix throwing) was in the works. I admit that I had joyous visions of a peaceful happy orderly afternoon to come. HAHA.

Suddenly Didi let out an earsplitting shriek. You see, what I failed to notice, was that Didi was paying a little too much attention to her nose. Upon investigation, I discovered a Kix wedged almost out of sight up her nose. So, I went to fetch the tweezers, and proceeded to perform a Kix extrication, which, considering Didi's current state of mind (scared out of her wits) was extremely difficult, complicated, and required all my attention.

The Kix was shoved up so high in Didis nose that I could just see a little round yellowish bump when I looked up her nose. I stuck the tweezers in and made a hole in the part I could see, and then grabbed the inside and outside of the Kix and PULLED on it. Didi fought and screamed and grabbed at her face, my hands, the tweezers, ANYTHING; so I finally wound up essentially sitting on her.

But finally the offending bite of cereal was rmoved and thrown away. Didi was very traumatized, and needed lots of cuddles and love to help her feel better.

Just as Didi was starting to feel like the world will indeed go on turning, the Z-Monster called out from the dining room. "Mommy! I 'prize you!!" And then, he dashed into the living room, singing his very own fanfare. "Dah-da-DAH!!!" and made a sweeping gesture to encompass his entire body.

Part Two: Paint, Paint, and Paint Again!

the Z-Monster had discovered the tempera paints, and managed to open three of the sealed bottles. He was covered in purple, green, and orange paint from head to toe. He then proudly revealed to me his artwork on the shoe bench and buffet. (picture will be coming if I have a chance to get it off the camera).

Horrified, I quickly planted the girls in front of a movie and hauled the Z-Monster upstairs for a bath. After thoroughly scrubbing him down (I actually washed his clothes in the tub too), I hauled him out of the tub, and back downstairs. After providing a damp rag, I set the Z-Monster to work cleaning the paint off of the bench while I hopped into the kitchen to throw a frozen pizza in the oven.

About three minutes later, I emerged from the kitchen to discover the Z-Monster had climbed up and retrieved the paint, re-opened it, and had re-painted himself, plus added artwork to the walls and doors. Soooo . . . back into the tub he went.

the Z-Monster was quite upset about needing another bath, after all, I had JUST washed his hair and all of him! This time around he decided to push the limits, and before too long (despite my MANY warnings) he slipped and fell, and hit his head on the bottom of the bathtub, and his stitches started to bleed again. GRRR.

The day finally ended with the kids in bed, stomachs filled with burnt pizza, the paint cleaned up, and my own resolution to get a babysitter the next day.

Part Three: When I said I needed a break, this isn't what I meant!

A friend of mine does daycare in her home, and was kind enough to take my kids on Friday, so I could make some progress. The day progressed relatively uneventfully, and then it was time to pick the kids up and head to Dublin to pick Sven up from work.

On the way out the door from K's house, my shoe went kaput, and I went down, hard, holding Didi. I landed just about as wrong as wrong could be, except that Didi didn't get hurt at all, so I did something right, at least.

My leg started swelling up right away, and it got one lump on it that stuck out and was purple. K's husband drove me to the ER while K watched my kids until Sven could beg a ride home off a co-worker. At this point, I was pretty sure that I had broken my leg, I'd heard a pretty sharp snap when I went down.

Eventually they got me x-rayed, and sent a Dr. in to look at it. The x-rays didn't show any breaks, but the Dr. still thought that my leg looked broken, so she sent me back to radiology to get a few more shots at a different angle, just to be sure. Still no breaks. (What a relief!)

After ruling out a broken bone, another doctor came in and poked and prodded, and asked questions about how I fell, and manipulated my leg (I would have kicked him, but that would have hurt worse). He declared that I had Severely sprained and strained both my knee and my ankle, and pretty much everything in between, plus banged things up really well- but that nothing was torn.

So- I can't walk, but I should be able to in about two weeks. Just what I needed. Right?

Just another boring day in the life of . . .

Peek-a-boo

It's so much fun watching my precious little girl grow up! Today she started playing peek-a-boo with me during diaper changing time. Not a first, but there was just something so grown-up about it that I had to stop and think. Today she also helped me pick up some of the Kix she threw on the floor, and put it back in the bowl. The art of the dismount has been mastered- she can get down from chairs, stairs, beds, and couches! She babbles all the time, too! I'm always mistaking her babbles for Didi, and being surprised at how quickly her language skills seem to be progressing.

At the same time it is sad. She is my last baby(barring adoption or miraculous acts of God). Tonight she fell asleep in my arms. It has been so long since she has done that. It almost made me cry, holding her snuggled under my chin, as she slept. I just sat and enjoyed it for half an hour or so.

The Sound of Running Water.

Is never a good sound to wake up to. Especially not with a three year-old in the house.

I woke up to the sound of water POURING. I popped up, thinking, "Z-monster must be washing his hands." Oh, if only.

I enter the bathroom. No Z-Monster. No running sink water. Oh no- even better. The toilet was clogged, the flusher broken, and the chain pulled out. The bathroom floor was about an inch deep. *sigh* OK. I can deal with this. I stopped the overflowing toilet, grabbed the mop bucket and a pile of rags, and started mopping up.

Then it occurs to me- I can still hear running water- Downstairs. I run down to the kitchen. No Z-monster in the kitchen, but, POURING from the chandelier in the breakfast nook, all the water from the bathroom upstairs. The breakfast room was completely flooded, and the water made it all the way into the kitchen. UGH. I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!

I woke up Sven. He mopped downstairs while I mopped upstairs.

Where was the Z-Monster? In bed sleeping the sleep of the innocent.

So, next on the project list? Replace bathroom floor, and the ceiling, walls, wiring, possibly chandelier in the breakfast room.

Ice Packs

Yes, that's right, Ice packs.

I have a lot of experience with them. A. LOT. My experience with ice packs starts with a Z . . . ok, ok, I'm a Klutz so it goes back waaaaaaaaaaaaay further than that.

Anyway, I have always had three major gripes about ice packs. First, they melt and get all watery, typically leading to significant leakage. Second, if you are smart and use something other than a bag of ice cubes, it is rock hard, and doesn't really work well on a bruised arm or something of that nature. Third, if you buy those fancy expensive ones that are leak-proof and squishy, they are expensive! Plus, they tend to get lost/punctured/stolen/taken out of the freezer by someone who thinks they need it but don't, so you aren't getting your $ worth.

I thought I had it all figured out when my buddy told me about the magic mix. 1/2 rubbing alcohol, 1/2 water. It freezes up to a nice slushy consistency. Problem: My kids like to eat ice. Especially if it feels like it might be a slushy! Plus, once it really starts to melt you have the same leakage problem (my kids ALWAYS know how to make their icepacks leak!)

My solution? Frozen peas! Even when they are thawed, they don't leak (too much). They conform nicely, and they are CHEAP! Plus, when you spend 4 hours in the emergency room, they make a nice alternative to overpriced vending machine junk. :P

I put a scoop of peas in a ziplock bag, squeeze all the air out, put it into a sock (the other half of the sock gremlin pairs) and voila! Ice pack!

I am only half kidding about the snack thing, too- ER trip before last, Z got hungry and ate the corn out of his icepack. Crazy kid!

Follow up

Yes- because I haven't blogged enough in the last couple days . . .

Yesterday The Z-monster had his follow up to the allergist and GI appointments. All is apparantly very normal. Except, you know, for the random, violent, prolonged bouts of diarrhea. *sigh*

So . . .

Official Diagnosis: Toddler Diarrhea.

Official Prognosis: We haven't had a serious bout in a couple of weeks. That means it could be gone for good, or just on hiatus. This is an ideopathic (sp?) condition, which basically means that they are clueless. They don't know what causes it, and they don't know what stops it. What they do know, is that it DOES eventually go away. Here's hoping.

Didi had her follow-up on her bloodwork, which is all normal, mid-level everything. Soooo, who knows. Maybe the last few months have just been meant to torment me.

It's a conspiracy . . .

25 Hints You're Not Voting for Obama

I stole this one off of a bulletin board. I just thought it was too stinking funny not to post. After this I promise I am done for tonight.

25 Hints You're Not Voting for Obama [Peter Kirsanow]

Today's Rasmussen daily tracking poll has 80% of Democrats supporting Obama and 87% of Republicans supporting McCain. There are still a healthy number of undecideds. This conflicts with the stream of media reports that Obamacons, evangelicals, black conservatives and independents are flocking to Obama.

If you're an independent, moderate or conservative on the fence about whether to vote for McCain or Obama, here's a helpful guide:

It's unlikely you'll vote for Obama if you....

1. aren't a news anchor.
2. read the New York Times for pretty much the same reason the NSA monitors radio transmissions.
3. automatically conclude that the person laughing in the car next to you must be listening to Rush. Or maybe Obama off teleprompter.
4. dislocated your shoulder trying to explain Obama's position on Iraq to co-workers.
5. find autobiographies generally more interesting when the author has, you know, done something.
6. remember the Carter Administration.
7. would give a month's pay to play Jack Bauer's partner on 24.
8. increasingly agree with Mark Steyn that "almost everything [Obama] says is, well, nuts."
9. think it's relevant — despite what the sophisticates say — that several of Obama's mentors and associates have displayed a dislike for America or a disdain for Americans.
10. think it's relevant that several of McCain's mentors and associates are American heroes of historic magnitude.
11. think about 9/11 more than once a year.
12. have concluded that Larry the Cable Guy makes way more sense than Howard Dean.
13. feel a little safer during turbulence when your pilot is a calm "white haired dude."
14. thought about Hillary's 3:00 a.m. phone call ad when you first heard about Russian tanks in Georgia.
15. wonder why Obama felt it necessary to give a speech on patriotism.
16. get sorta creeped out by 200,000 Germans chanting "Obama! Obama!"
17. think the jury may still be out on Harvard Law School.
18. suspect "merci beaucoup" is French for "empty suit."
19. doubt that teleprompters are really magical dispensers of good ideas.
20. know in your gut that defiantly withstanding 4 1/2 years of torture trumps all of Obama's qualifications and accomplishments combined — regardless of what the elite pundits say.
21. repeatedly find yourself asking "Change to what?"
22. have ever used the term "pompous twit' in the same sentence with "Marx," "Marcuse," or "Sartre."
23. don't like being told what to do — especially by someone who hasn't done it.
24. really like ticking off the media, Hollywood, academics, and PC busybodies everywhere.
25. weren't born yesterday.

Score (# of descriptions that apply to you):

0— Go ahead, write in Dennis Kucinich
1—3 Obama may be your choice after all
4—5 You think Hillary got a raw deal and won't vote Obama
6—24 McCain's your man
25 It's OK to write in Reagan

Stitches

I'm sure you all knew this was coming. After all, The Z-monster hasn't managed to get stitches yet. (until now)

This morning The Z-monster took off upstairs (being naughty), and tripped and fell down. He split his head open on the baseboard on the landing. OUCH.

I cleaned it up and put ice(his head smelled like frozen peas all day) on it, and looked at it long and hard. After the last fiasco, I didn't want to spend time and money to be complimented on my bandaging skills. I decided that there was no way I could justify not taking him in. I also decided that they had better stitch him up- or else.

The gash was about an inch long, and was gaping open about half an inch wide. It's right on the back of Z's head, mostly towards the right side (the side he landed on). He also got some generic bruises and rug burn, but nothing serious.

At the ER (urgent care was closed), they took one look at him and fetched the suture tech (imagine that- doctors devoted to nothing but stitches!). So, The Z-monster is now the proud owner of a new teddy bear, and four stitches, all in a row.

Sorry, no graphic pictures of blood and gore. I was too distracted before, and too busy after. Perhaps I'll post some later. The Z-monster will be happy to pose.

I'm editing this to add a The Z-monster quote. On the way out to the van, I explained to The Z-monster that we were going to the Dr's to make his head better.

He said, "Oh, yes, Mommy, I need a bandaid."

To which I responded, "I'm pretty sure it will take more than just a bandaid."

The Z-monster thought about this, for a few seconds and responded cheerfully, "Oh, FIVE bandaids?"

Bandaids and kisses, people- the height of 3 year old first aid.

I'm editing this again (hmm, maybe I should just rewrite it altogether) to say THANK YOU MARCI for dropping everything to watch the girls while I took The Z-monster in. It would have been sheer torture dragging the whole zoo along with me.

Spaghettio the Yellow Horse

This is a story that The Z-monster, Didi, and I made up this evening. It is as long as The Z-monsters's attention span (when he has more exciting things to distract, like deep-dish homemade pizza). Everything The Z-Monster added will be in this color, everything Didi added will be in this color.

Once upon a time, it was a beautiful summer day, and the sun was shining. Spaghettio the Yellow Horse woke up and went outside. He breathed the fresh morning air, and thought, "I will go exploring in the big world today."

He looked around him, wondering which way he would go. In front of him was a beautiful blue ocean. Behind him was a deep magic forest. To his right was a tall, tall mountain, so tall that you couldn't see the top. To his left was a wide, flat desert, with snakes and lizards. Spaghettio decided to go back inside and get his Mommy.

"Mommy," he asked, "would you go exploring with me in the big, big world?"

Mommy, of course, was delighted. "I would love to explore with you, Spaghettio! Where are we going?"

"Outside, Mommy!" responded Spaghettio.

"Ahh, I see." said Mommy. "What should we bring exploring with us? Do we need food?"

"Yes, Mommy, pretzels and chips!"

"Hmm, Spaghettio, that doesn't sound very healthy. Do you think we should bring some fruit too?"

"No."

"Oh, ok. Do you think we should bring some veggies?"

"Oh, yes Mommy!" Spaghettio said with great glee. "Carrots! Broccoli! Corn! Peas! Tomatos!" Then, with great force, and a meaningful glance, he added, "NO Grean Beans!!"

"Wow, that sounds yummy! Do we need to bring anything else?" asked Mommy.

"Yes, Mommy," he replied. "A telescope!"

So, armed with a telescope and lots of snacks, Spaghettio and his Mommy set out to explore the great big world. They went out the door, and looked around. Spaghettio decided he wanted to climb the mountain! So up they went.

They climbed and climbed and climbed. They saw lots of trees. Then, they saw a great, big, waterfall. Spaghettio the Yellow Horse looked through his telescope, and saw a kitchen!

Spaghettio wanted to go look inside. "Shhhh, Mommy. Quiet!" he said. So they very quietly snuck up on the kitchen. Spaghettio looked inside and saw a great big frog.

"Hello!" said the frog, because she was a friendly frog. "My name is Daphne! This is my kitchen."

Everyone was hungry, so they had a snack. They made a yummy salad with the veggies, and ate chips and pretzels, and drank water with icecubes.

After the snack, they washed dishes in the kitchen, and Spaghettio helped! Then, they kept exploring up the mountain. They went higher and higher until there was snow on the mountain, and it was cold. So cold that everyone was shivering. All of the sudden they were at the top of the mountain. Spaghettio looked around with his telescope. He could see the whole wide world! He saw Ducky's nest! Down the mountain went Spaghettio the Yellow Horse, his Mommy, and Daphne the Frog, until they came to Ducky's house.

"Hi Ducky!" said Spaghettio. "Do you want to explore with us?"

"NO!" said Ducky, and stormed off.

The End

GI Appointment

You all are going to think that I do nothing but take my kiddos to the Dr! There are times I feel that way too.

The Z-Monster had his first GI appointment today. His first, and hopefully, his last. :) Well, ok, so I know there will be at least one other visit, because he will need to go in for a follow-up. BUT . . . I can dream.

Here's the scoop: (that is a pun, as you will see . . .) The Dr. DOES NOT really lean towards celiac, because the Z-monster's growth curve appears normal, and his iron hasn't ever been low. BUT, he is testing anyway, because of Z's cousin, and the diarreah. He is also testing for lactose intolerance and parasites (again).

Here's the punny part- I get to scoop his poop out of a bonnet for these lovely samples. ooooh joy.

He also had blood drawn for the tests. That was miserable. As soon as we walked into the lab, the Z-Monster started whimpering, "No, no poke me, please, no poke me!" He fought like crazy for the first stick, (sitting up) and despite the two nurses helping me hold him, he managed to twist his arm around, and blew the vein. SO now he has a nice big bruise on one elbow, and we got to try again.

I tried to explain to him that we HAD to do this, and that we would keep trying until we got it. I held him and hugged him while I told him I was sorry, but we were finding out what made his tummy troubles. I think it helped a little. He still begged and fought, but he seemed to be trying to be brave. It's tough, because he doesn't understand, and he didn't choose it. I just hope thats the last of the blood draws for a few years.

We can't expect any results from the tests for a while, of course, but we should know soon.

Allergist Appointment

Sorry I've been so negligent. I'm sure that everyone's been biting their nails for an update.

The Z-Monster had his allergist appointment on Tuesday, and it looks like he's home free in the allergy arena. YAY! Well, at least the allergist tested him for all the major food allergies. He came back negative on ALL of them.

Next week is the GI. Wish us luck!

Ironically, things in the bowel department have REALLY calmed down the last few weeks. It always seems to work out that way. Go figure.